The Financial Planning Lesson Hidden Inside Belle Burden’s New York Times Bestselling Novel, Strangers

It was a compelling book that I could not put down and I finished it in two days. The memoir explores the unraveling of Belle’s marriage and the unexpected discoveries that follow, including the financial pickle she was left in, to put it mildly. In the book their relationship is at the centre of the story, however, as I am someone who is focused on supporting people in their financial lives (comes with the territory of my job), I found myself wondering how many people have read this book and are now worried about themselves, their children, friend, or partner.

There are many takeaways after reading this book, some good and some not so good. However, for me, Strangers wasn’t about the need to worry about a relationship or if one needs to be questioning their partner. It was a reminder that strong partnerships are built when both spouses are engaged in the important conversations that shape their future.

I think it is important that financial planning is one of those conversations.

The story of Strangers is so impactful because it goes beyond the details of Belle’s situation to allow readers to recognize themselves in the details: the division of household labour that quietly extended to financial life, the idea that someone else was in charge, the moment when “handled” actually meant “handled alone.” When a major life change happens, financial vulnerability can look like being reckless. And more often, two people who assumed the other knew more than they did. This gap between assumption and reality is exactly what a shared financial plan is supposed to bridge.

A Good Financial Plan Is a Shared Plan

In many families, one person naturally takes the lead on finances. One partner may enjoy investing, while the other is happy to take a back seat in this regard, knowing they may be the one that manages the household logistics, cooking, or being the glorified uber driver taking the kids to the never-ending practices and rehearsals. Whatever it is, dividing responsibilities can work extremely well. A strong financial partnership doesn’t require both partners to monitor markets or review every statement. It simply means that each person understands the family’s goals, resources, and plans.

In other circumstances, you may be the financial one in your family and find yourself responsible for all of these logistics plus looking after investments, which can make taking the time to work on your finances even lower priority.

I am here to remind you of the importance that all members of a household should understand the overall picture. Everyone should be able to answer these questions:

• What matters to us most in life and do our finances reflect that?
• What are we working toward?
• What do we own?
• What do we owe?
• How are our investments structured?
• Who helps us make financial decisions?
• What would happen if one of us were suddenly unable to manage these responsibilities?

If, after going through this list, you came to the conclusion that you couldn’t be confident in answering two or three of these questions, welcome to the real world for many. But it’s not as bad as you might think. In fact, a single, focused, conversation can fix it. You’re not aiming to have both partners suddenly become fluent in investment strategy, rather that you both have sufficient understanding to never get caught off guard. It’s less of a quiz and more like a shared road map. And one you don’t need to both navigate at the same time. So long as you both know where you’re headed.

Make Sure Your Plan is Not a “One and Done”

One of the biggest mistakes families can make isn’t creating a poor financial plan, it’s not following through. We hear this a lot, “I had someone create a plan for me, but I forget where it is now.” Even if you create a good plan with a financial planner, your mistake can be that you create it once, check the box, and then don’t spend the time updating it.

Life changes constantly. Children grow up. Careers evolve. Retirement gets closer. Parents age. Priorities shift.

That’s why at Nexus we encourage our clients to check in on their plan annually.

An annual review creates an opportunity to:

• Revisit goals
• Ensure all family members see how they are tracking towards their plan
• Update estate plans
• Confirm beneficiaries
• Discuss upcoming life changes
• Ensure both partners remain informed and engaged

Setting up an annual review will keep you both on track, and informed. There’s a world of difference between a partner who is aware versus a partner who is informed. It’s the difference between knowing the destination and knowing how to use the GPS. And having both partners be on the same page with a level of understanding in how to take action in the event of a major life change (a job disruption, a health diagnosis, an inheritance, early retirement, etc.). When you have this shared plan, it not only brings you closer together, but it reduces or eliminates friction and builds confidence in the face of a situation that might otherwise create confusion and conflict.

Understanding The Role of Trusts and Family Wealth

Another interesting theme that emerges from Strangers is the role of trusts and inherited wealth. In the book, Belle uses her trusts to buy the family home and vacation home and is later at risk of losing both.

Trusts, and the role that trusts can play, are often misunderstood as tools used exclusively by the very wealthy. In reality, they can be valuable planning tools for many families. A previous Nexus blog on ways to pass on your wealth provides a good overview on their value.

Depending on the situation, trusts may be used to:

• Preserve family wealth across generations
• Protect beneficiaries
• Support children or grandchildren
• Provide structure around how assets are managed and distributed

Like any planning strategy, trusts should be established with professional advice. Our Wealth Planners at Nexus are here to help plan when and where a trust may be effective.

Closing

At the end of the day, if you read this book and found yourself worried and wondering “could this happen to me?”, I hope you take comfort in reading this blog and being able to reframe the worry to a statement; “I know what to do to make sure we are on the same page regarding our finances.” Life is busy, and it is so easy for something like financial planning or finances to fall to the wayside, but working with your partner and a financial professional you trust can ensure you are always in a position of comfort, clarity and confidence.

If, after reading Strangers, you feel inspired, the next step is to inspire your partner as well. Or whomever shares your financial life and helps make decisions. After all, it’s going to be a team effort. It’s not like you need an agenda or spreadsheet, just a willingness to ask the tough questions you both might have been avoiding.